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Feature: Humor

LLA announces new skill requirements and fees for Linux users

By Linux.com Staff on April 01, 2008 (4:12:00 PM)

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BULLENSTINE, USA -- The LLA (Linux Liberation Army) announced today that it has adopted tough new rules governing all future Linux users. Driven by the escalating popularity of Linux and the accompanying surge in requests for support from new users, the LLA sees raising the barrier to further Linux adoption to be more than just a good idea, so it's now the law.

Effective immediately, according to LLA spokesperson and Corporal-for-Life Jose Barrito, prospective Linux users will be given a competence test covering C programming, PHP, and online debating skills in one of three key areas: editors, distros, and desktop environment preferences.

According to Barrito, not only will the 8-hour examination cull out the weak and lame wannabes, thus reducing the whimpering and moaning typical of new Linux users, it will help raise money for the Guinness Retirement Home and Rehab Center for Old Kernel Hackers, which is scheduled to open April 1, 2009. "Given that the typical Windows or Mac user will save $15,782 during the first five years after switching to Linux, we don't feel that the $4,999.99 test fee is high at all," Barrito said.

Predictably, BSD proponent Tito De Raat pooh-poohed the announcement, saying simply that "If Linux wants to be serious about raising the bar to adoption, they'll soon come around to my way of doing things."

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on LLA announces new skill requirements and fees for Linux users

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LLA announces new skill requirements and fees for Linux users

Posted by: Anonymous [ip: 70.238.111.130] on April 01, 2008 05:39 PM
You do realize you face the very real possiblity of being ./'ed?

That said, it's too bad we can enforce such a law; as there just aren't enough of us LLA MP's.

Doofus

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LLA announces new skill requirements and fees for Linux users

Posted by: Anonymous [ip: 194.73.67.254] on April 01, 2008 05:58 PM
vi, Gentoo and Gnome.

[also, this webpage looks screwed up on my 1024x 768 firefox browser and I can't see the buttons properly.]

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LLA announces new skill requirements and fees for Linux users

Posted by: Anonymous [ip: 24.67.175.212] on April 01, 2008 08:16 PM
this totally got /.'ed..You had me hopeful though. the linux/general computing illiterati need to pay as much as possible for their ignorance

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LLA announces new skill requirements and fees for Linux users

Posted by: Anonymous [ip: 122.55.156.106] on April 01, 2008 08:47 PM
I love Linux but I don't think my mom will pass the C and PHP tests...

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LLA announces new skill requirements and fees for Linux users

Posted by: toronto on April 03, 2008 03:25 AM
Some companies would even pay that fee for "professional <a href="http://www.precede.ca" target="_blank">development</a>". Viva the LLA <a href="http://www.charmehosting.com" target="_blank">SEO web hosting</a> !
[Modified by: toronto on April 25, 2008 02:36 AM]

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lawl

Posted by: Anonymous [ip: 67.169.224.186] on April 05, 2008 09:16 AM
In other news, LLA gives itself a giant group wedgy, news at 11!

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Re: lawl

Posted by: Joe Barr on April 05, 2008 03:05 PM
Hey, that was under embargo!

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