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Feature: Humor

Web 2.0 tossed aside in favor of Web 3.14159265358979323846…

By Linux.com Staff on April 01, 2008 (2:55:00 PM)

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HOAXVILLE, USA -- In a stunning and unexpected announcement, Tim O'Really, founder of O'Really Publishing and the O'Really Network, announced today that "Web 2.0 is history, not that anyone ever really understood what it meant, anyway. In its place we offer Web 3.14159265358979323846…"

O'Really said he expects to hold numerous Web 3.14159265358979323846… conferences that will "bring together a diverse crowd of lonely geeks with too much time on their hands, gullible investors, and marketing people looking for new buzzwords they can use in their PowerPoint presentations."

In response, Aaron Emptyson of MindBotch Technologies announced plans to hold a "Web 1.6180339887..." conference across the street from O'Really's confab.

"Web 3.14159265358979323846… is nothing but circular reasoning," Emptyson said. "We don't need Web Pi. We need Web Phi -- the golden ratio. Which would you rather be? Round or golden?"

O'Really's Web 3.14159265358979323846… conference will cost $$$$$3,141.59 to attend. "We're not making the price this high just so we can make money," O'Really told us in an imaginary (but exclusive) interview. "We want to make sure none of the free software riff-raff can afford to come."

Emptyson, a firm free (or at least cheap) software advocate, promised that his convention would only cost $$$1,618, a price he claimed "has no special significance whatsoever, and includes free scuba lessons so that attendees can learn to look beneath the surface of specious announcement like Tim's."

O'Really has copyrighted the term, "Web 3.14159265358979323846…," and says he will "vigorously defend our exclusive use of it in court, no matter how many rounds we have to fight with the 'information wants to be free' pukes who use the Web to run roughshod over legitimate Imaginary Property profiteers like Amazon, Microsoft, Metallica, and... well... me."

As expected, Cheap Software Foundation founder Ricardo Stallguy immediately issued a verbal fusillade against both O'Really and Emptyson. He also revealed plans to hold his own conference called Web 3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679 8214808651...

The cost to attend the Web 3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679 8214808651... conference will be $3.14. And, Stallguy says, "We will offer student and senior discounts, plus we have a fellowship program for those who would like to attend but have no funds at all. To apply, all you have to do is write a 5,000 word essay -- using emacs, please -- telling us why you are a worthy candidate for inclusion."

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on Web 2.0 tossed aside in favor of Web 3.14159265358979323846…

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Web 2.0 tossed aside in favor of Web 3.14159265358979323846…

Posted by: Anonymous [ip: 192.168.10.61] on April 01, 2008 03:44 PM
nice 1st april joke :))

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Web 2.0 tossed aside in favor of Web 3.14159265358979323846…

Posted by: Anonymous [ip: 212.214.82.94] on April 01, 2008 03:51 PM
O'really? Funny spelling ... April fools day

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Web 2.0 tossed aside in favor of Web 3.14159265358979323846…

Posted by: Anonymous [ip: 60.52.77.160] on April 01, 2008 03:54 PM
That's a nice April Fool's Joke. Good shot!

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Web 2.0 tossed aside in favor of Web 3.14159265358979323846…

Posted by: Anonymous [ip: 79.14.23.4] on April 01, 2008 04:16 PM
The best thing is the 42 in the end of the article

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Re: Web 2.0 tossed aside in favor of Web 3.14159265358979323846…

Posted by: Anonymous [ip: 218.111.5.224] on April 18, 2008 12:50 PM
the "Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything"

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Web 2.0 tossed aside in favor of Web 3.14159265358979323846…

Posted by: Anonymous [ip: 75.68.50.97] on April 01, 2008 04:41 PM
Ah good ole pi - that really would be the end of it then

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Web 2.0 tossed aside in favor of Web 3.14159265358979323846…

Posted by: toronto on April 01, 2008 05:01 PM
I like it because it would never <a href="http://www.blue2005.com/" target="_blank">really</a> end. Some <a href="http://www.charmehosting.com/" target="_blank">SEO web hosting</a> help. Really.
[Modified by: toronto on April 08, 2008 01:49 AM]

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Web 2.0 tossed aside in favor of Web 3.14159265358979323846…

Posted by: Anonymous [ip: 72.83.129.238] on April 01, 2008 09:06 PM

Web 2.0 tossed aside in favor of Web 3.14159265358979323846…

Posted by: Anonymous [ip: 97.84.152.25] on April 02, 2008 01:41 AM
I am organizing a "Web i" conference. It's time to take things in a new direction! The conference fee will be purely imaginary.

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Microsoft has announced a "Microsoft e" conference

Posted by: Anonymous [ip: 151.188.247.104] on April 02, 2008 03:06 AM
In a not-so-surprising move, the Microsoft Corporation (Nasdaq: MSFT) has responded to the recent O'Really Conference with its own "Microsoft-e" conference. It will be restricted to Microsoft employees ("Microsofties") and their immediate business and family partners.

Stefan Baalbreaker, the company's president and CEO, made the announcement at a Microsoft press conference earlier this afternoon.

"Those freeloading logicians have had hold of the tech press for long enough. We will answer their challenge of their Web 3.14159265358979323846... conference with Windows Expo 2.718281828459045..., so chosen to represent the total irrationality of not just my temper, but also the general tone of the conference. The oiler companies are simply too powerful for us to control, so we will leverage the power of Euler to control them! And if not, well, I'll just throw a chair at them for stealing our intellectual pauperity."

The theme of the conference, according to former Microsoft lead counsel Bill Nuke'em, will be the continued refinement and marketing of the Microsoft God product, which the firm acquired in the mid 1990's.

"We have not had quite the success with increasing Microsoft God's market share as we had hoped. It's not quite as bad as Microsoft Bob, but it is not optimal. Our expectation is that conference attendees will, through their inherent irrationality, be able to outperform the 'million monkey' theory and come up with a somewhat coherent solution. It may not be the works of Shakespeare, but hey, my stock's on the line! We've got to do something."

Requests for further details were coyly deflected, with Mr. Baalbreaker saying, "sorry, that information is patented, we cannot disclose what it is. That guy Linus Torvalds and his tribe of Penguins might decipher it and code a workaround...and we can't have that."

Linus Torvalds himself had few words for this story, saying only, "They are talking smack."

Reporting for Irrational Tech News, I'm Sum Yung Gai.

--SYG

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Web 2.0 tossed aside in favor of Web 3.14159265358979323846…

Posted by: Anonymous [ip: 128.177.18.254] on April 02, 2008 06:56 PM
In a recent press release, MFST announced that its future products will embrace the potential of Web 3.14159265358979323846.... "All our products will provide unparalleled Web 3.142 support," said their spokesperson on Monday. When queried about the name, the spokesperson informed us that Web 3.142 is a registered MFST trademark, that it's better than Web 3.14159265358979323846... and is fully compatible because "nobody cares about all those extra digits in the standard anyway."

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Web 2.0 tossed aside in favor of Web 3.14159265358979323846…

Posted by: Anonymous [ip: 81.214.17.201] on April 28, 2008 01:29 PM
That's a nice April Fool's Joke. Good shot!
<a href="http://www.creativeuser.net" title="Creative user" target="_blank">creative user</a>

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