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I don't see the same thing on any of the systems I work with. Xfce, when it starts, uses about 96-102 megs of RAM. I do not use Compiz/Beryl, nor the Xfce compositor. Aside from Glipper I do not start any background services that aren't started as daemons outside of X. Compared to this, the most basic KDE startup I could get used about 106 megs.
I think what you are getting at is KDE, not QT. KDE shares libraries more efficiently than Gnome-based applications do. But that is meaningless once you start using OpenOffice, Firefox, or anything non-QT/KDE in KDE.
I've found that when I mix QT/KDE with GTK/Gnome applications, Xfce wins over both, just slightly, maybe on the order of 10-30 megs.
Of course, Fluxbox, PekWM, and many others are less hoggish. FLTK and Enlightenment are two I have not tried in a while.. I'd like to hear about how they compare to Xfce in this regard.